Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just cropdusted the office
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
