One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
