You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize