I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
