Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Can you bring me the toilet please
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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