Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think I won the penis lottery.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
