I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
