I want to stick my p in your. b.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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