go do what you do best...puke behind churches
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
