she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
