New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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