I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I need a beard to bite.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
