At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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