i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
