I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Randomize
