When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
