return my video game
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
