How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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