You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
