Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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