We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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