Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
This is not my ceiling
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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