absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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