Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
