So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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