Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
