i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize