Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What a dumb baby whore.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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