You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i permit you to call me
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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