Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
