Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
