Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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