I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
