ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
