i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
