currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
