I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
