You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
