If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Pants are for mortals
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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