dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
