He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
