it wasn't lemon gatorade
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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