is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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