we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
