What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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