Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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