Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Randomize
