So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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