Don't make out with my wife yet
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
