Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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