I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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