i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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