is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
