3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
