I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She bit a glass in half.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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