I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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