Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
