I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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