I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
smell my finger.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize