in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
