you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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