eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i out mim tonsoeep
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
