remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
