I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
