I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
