I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
