Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
