I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
