we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
